Chores are a parenting tool as old—and commonly used—as time out or counting to three. Scalable for kids of all ages, chores have benefits beyond what parents might realize.
Establishing a chore system, however, can feel like a lot. We turned to Dr. Aliza Pressman, author of The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans, to answer our questions about why a chores routine is worth our time, and how to introduce it quickly and easily.
What benefits do chores have for kids?
Chores are so beneficial. They allow children to feel a sense of responsibility, a sense of belonging to the family, an awareness that they have capacity to make meaningful contributions and a sense of competence. Given that competence is one of the best ways to build confidence and that feeling like you make meaningful contributions is a pathway to fulfillment, those silly chores, even the smallest, have potential to support so much positive development. On a smaller level, having responsibility and learning the steps to taking responsibility, following through with a plan, etc. are a fantastic way to bolster executive function skills.
What are your thoughts on chore charts, rewards and allowance?
For everyday chores, a chart can be helpful to remind everyone of their respective jobs, but it wouldn’t be a chart to deliver gold stars or anything like that. It’s more a chart to help create habits.
I’m all for allowance, but I think it should be separate from day-to-day responsibilities in your household community. We want kids to feel that they are making this contribution because that’s part of being in the family. Not because they’re getting incentivized for bigger jobs that are a little bit out of scope, it’s totally appropriate to offer compensation or incentives.
When and how should you introduce chores?
When you introduce chores at young ages, it doesn’t require any coaxing because young children like helping out around the house and imitating adults around them. It can be harder when you start later. Start with one job not an overwhelming list. Start with something that you know your child is capable of doing. Try not to criticize and correct, and as they get better you can increase their responsibilities.
More from The North County Moms:
5 Things Your Child Should Know Before Going to College
Taking the “Toxic” Out of Achievement Culture for Our Kids
The Hidden Benefits of Enrolling Your Child in Martial Arts
